You know you're an Au Pair in the USA when...
...you always introduce yourself with : "Hi! my name is (your name), I'm from (country) and I have (amount of children you are taking care of) children!!"
...everybody is greeting you with a "Hi.How are you!" and you can't respond fast enough, so you say it first!
...the worst thing is, when the dad/mum is working from home
...you spent all your money at the MALL and you still have nothing to wear
... you start wondering how to drive a non-automatic car
...you hate Dora, The Wiggles and Thomas
...you say silly instead of stupid
...you go to PLAYDATES
...you've seen more movies in one month than in your whole life at home
...you drive over 30 minutes to a friend and you think it's not far
...you only have other Au Pairs as your friends
...you can make bacon
...you say "like", "actually" and "totally" every three words
...someone has asked you silly questions like: "do you have cars in Germany?" - "You don't have Thanksgiving?" - "How long does it take to DRIVE to Europe?"
...you don't think it's wrong to have cake AND ice cream.
...you park as close to the store as possible so you don't have to walk even one yard too far
...you cherish moments of silence more than ever before
...you notice yourself saying "GOOD JOB" a hundred times a day
...you wonder why you slept the whole night long so uncomfortable and you notice the next morning, you slept on a barbie, a lollypop, sandtoys etc.
... you need to be creative to find new punishments because a time-out doesn't work anymore 
... you have to admit to mistakes you never did or put the blame on you day for day
...you're sure you don't want own kids within the next 100 years
...you know now exactly how difficult it was for your parents to have little kids and you feel like saying thanks for all you've done to your mum and dad every day
...you're ready to drink anytime of the day
...you start to love disney movies again and can copy every passage of them
...you've learned what it means to be patient
...you know what a LCC is
...you know that you should never SHAKE A BABY!!!
...you take a nap, after you dropped of the kids at school (after being up for just 2h :-D)
...you are DRIVING to the busstop to pick up your kids, which is only 200 meters from your house.
..... you think $160 every weekend just for shopping and coffee are not that much
... one cup of coffee doesn`t make you awake anymore, it just makes you alive.
..you or your friends are KELLERKINDER!!!!
...you miss the good ol' days when you were able to go to the bakery and get real bread w/ real crust ( not that American sh** called bread..haha)
...you don't walk into the bank, you use the drive inn to get your money
...you use Purell instead of washing your hands
...you say to every problem: we'll figure it out
...you stop wondering how americans are recycling when they put everything in one container because you found out that there is actually not that much, what they recycle
...the seller at qfc gives you a funny look because you tell him, you dont need a plastic bag for that one thing
...you never know who really likes you, because everybody is nice and friendly
...you go to the movie theater and watch 3 movies in a row
...Gym, Starbucks, college, mall the main thing is to not be at home
...role ciragrettes in public places and everybody thinks you smoke pot
...people give you money when you hand them a cigarette
...oh, by the way: Hitler is death, the wall fell in 1989 and neither Lumxemburg nor Amsterdam is a part of Germany
...Pills for everybody, everything, all the time
...Chickensoup will make you feel better
...non-fat-milk
...no cholesterol, zero trans-fat, no sugar added-whats the food made of then???
...you use the microwave to cook dinner
..How are you?
...160$ a week is NOT a lot... isn`t it?!
...free talking on the cell from 9pm-6am + weekends
...you earn 3,50$ an hour and you keep wondering what the private lesson teacher is doing different to earn 25$/h.....
...You find yourself in a room full of starngers, working on the European th-problem...
...you spend your weekly wage for Starbucks and Abercrombie
...you don't know what to do? Well, lets go to the mall, or movies, maybe Starbucks....
...lets fly to ....(enter a city name) next weekend!
...You can eat everything just with the fork!
...Everything is awesome...
...Wodka-Red-Bull in Coffe cups-because you know that it is not allowed to drink in puplic!?:)
...you come back and you recognize that German does sound wired!!!
...when you confuse the "y" and the "z" while writing on the keyboard
...when you keep writing ue,ae,oe....
...when you think it is normal to water plants at noon and it's 100F outside.
...when you go the movies it's 100F outside, but you are dressed in long jeans, closed shoes and you bring a hoody-just in case!
...you are a "kellerkind" and know how it is to live in a room with mould
...you got sick because you're not used to all the airconditioned rooms
...you are a smoker and you're hide yourself while smoking, because au-pairs are non-smokers
...you are happy when you're back at "hotel mama"
...you finally realize who are you're real friends in germany
...you forget german words and so you have to speak german and english mixed deutschlisch
...you have an "ohrwurm" and sing "whats gonna work TEEEEEAMWORK" the whole day (The Backyardigans)
...your kid is singing "There's a party in my tummy so yummy...."
...you read bild.de to know what'g going on in Germany
...you order a small coke without and get a liter and half of the cup is filled with icecubes
...everything is oversized
...you put your beer in a glass and there is not foam
...you're tired of ham & turkey on your deli and want a real "brötchen with schinkenwurst"
...you are told that gatorade is healthy
...you miss a real german pancake without that much sugar
...you have to give the kids vitamins...but not as vegtables, you have to give them centrum a-z
...every second week lady is coming to clean the house
...all the meals you have to cook are Mac&cheese, pizza and pasta
...the 3 year old girl cries when her dad took her into her bed and is yelling for her aupair
...you wake up in the middle of the night because one of your kid is lying next to you
...you always work more hours than you're allowed to
...you watched all high school musical episodes
...everyone behind you is honking because you're not turning right on red when it is forbidden
...the only words you really realize are "you're off"
...you actually off and with the family on a trip and you're still working
...you're going to DisneyWorld and not excited
...you have to use the word "tush" instead of "ass"
...you don't walk in the bank, you use the drive inn to get your money
...you drive the car around the whole day
...you go to a hair stylist and he's laughing at you because you wear a "stufenschnitt" and is telling you that this is totally out of fashion
...you read www.perezhilton.com because you're bored
...the first thing you're hostdad explains you are the rules of baseball
...everywhere you look you only see STOP signs
...you say "jerk" instead of "stupid idiot"
...you set your alarm on pm instead of am
...the question 'are we gonna be there soon' drives you nuts
...you drive 30miles to the next build a bear shop
...you order regular water without ice
...you start to believe washing your hands makes everybody happy
...your kids don't like [fill in any kind of food] anymore
...you know catdog
...you are told peanut butter healthy
...you are told proteins are so important for kids
...you know string cheese
...your host mum tells you why walk when you can drive?
...you sometimes feel like shaking a kid is not that bad
...you feel like a servant
...you love extended day
...you realize you can't live without your Laptop anymore
...your old jeans don't fit anymore 
...you have gained about 5 kilogramm 
...you start counting the days until Weekend starts already on sunday
...you know mac`n cheese
...you know PB `n J
Am Schluss muss man jedoch sagen, dass wir unsere Kinder trotzdem von ganzem Herzen lieben, WENN SIE SCHLAFEN
